Long time, no talk, internet! How is Poodle, indeed.

She's great. She's very bossy. If you ask her, she says that she's not bossy, she's funny. We tell her that it's good to be both.

She had surgery in June. The goal of the surgery was to fix her right eyelid. It drooped. Distressingly, it still droops. This is the first surgery that didn't do what it was supposed to do. We see her surgeon in a couple of weeks. I hope that my expectations were just too extreme, that actually the surgery was a subtle success. Before the surgery, the only visceral reaction I ever had to her eye was a smile. When you're missing bone and tissue, your eye can move in more ways and convey more specific emotions than a typical eye. But as I massage her scarring every morning and evening, I try to not look too closely. Everything looks the same as it did before surgery, but I can't think that she went through it for nothing, that it's possible that some future surgery might also be for nothing, that maybe there's nothing more to do. I miss a breath.

But, do you know who is completely unfazed by this and so in the moments when I feel like I need to step away, actually helps to bring me back? Shierry. She is loving going to school every day, even if it means extra long days where she goes to speech and physical therapy while her classmates are napping. She also has a new dog ("eh-eh" in Shierry speak). We were just supposed to foster this dumb dog, but Shierry saw her, spoke in dog to her, and named her "Woofy." To quote Dan, "I guess we have a Woofy now."

Shierry's 18-month checkup was around Christmas. She had only recently recovered from her palate repair and started seeing a new speech therapist. While she could sign as many words as were could teach her, she voiced very few words. She was noticeably agitated that she couldn't communicate to the degree she wanted and I could not teach her signs fast enough to compensate. Her pediatrician suggested that we seriously consider getting her a speech assistive device and I was looking into ASL classes. Her speech therapist recommended that we give her new palate and more intensive therapy schedule time and re-evaluate in a few months.

Well, as of this morning, Shierry talks nonstop from the second she wakes up until she passes out. "Hi Mama. I'm awake. Baba's working. That's Mama's purple dress. This is my bed. I'm wearing my Mickey shirt. Hi Woofy. Woofy come baaaaaaack. I want to eat a waffle. Go downstairs and eat a waffle…." The other day, she was eating her snack and said, "Mama, I have cheese in my mouth." Which, while accurate…who cares, you know? Even when what she says is boring, I'm still pretty into it. Cognizant at all times that she and we are lucky for her speech. She has to work very hard and will continue to have to practice and do stretches and repetitions that others don't. With every new surgery, her delicate and weakened muscles get disrupted and there is potential for disaster, like, a fistula could happen (just thinking about that gives me the vapors). But, she has an amazing speech therapist who is On. Top. Of. It. She is a licensed speech language pathologist, so obvs, she knows all about speech. But, just as important, she knows Shierry. If something sounds off, she will know if it's just because Shierry is being a pill. Or if we need to do more practice words. Or if we need to do more stretches. Or if some more serious intervention is necessary.

After the most recent surgery, her speech was much more nasal than it had been previously and when she hit certain sounds, she was having some nasal bursts. Mostly, that seems to be working itself out. We see the speech therapist at the craniofacial clinic tomorrow for a checkup. Last time we saw her, she thought Shierry sounded a little hypo-nasal. Who knows. Last week Shierry told me that Baba had given her gummy bears when she was riding her bike. As long as she keeps being a genius narc, I'm good.